Season 3

In this hilarious third season, the Griffin family faces all-new dilemmas, including Brian's unintentional foray into directing porn, Stewie's rants on national TV, Meg's date with a nudist and Lois' Yuletide insanity. Meanwhile, Peter is surprised to discover Lois was once a groupie, and his son, Chris, is more "endowed" than he is.

1. 

   1. The Thin White Line (1)

   2001-07-11 · 23m

   Brian's keen sense of smell gets him a job with the police department.

2. 

   2. Brian Does Hollywood (2)

   2001-07-18 · 23m

   Brian's first job in Hollywood is directing a pornographic film.

3. 

   3. Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington

   2001-07-25 · 23m

   The tobacco industry sends Peter to Washington to present a speech about smoking.

4. 

   4. One If by Clam, Two If by Sea

   2001-08-01 · 23m

   When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.

5. 

   5. And the Wiener Is...

   2001-08-08 · 23m

   Peter joins a gun club to compensate for his lack of physical assets; Meg becomes the target of the "cool" gang's wrath.

6. 

   6. Death Lives

   2001-08-15 · 23m

   After a near-death experience on his anniversary, Peter learns the importance of spending time with Lois.

7. 

   7. Lethal Weapons

   2001-08-22 · 23m

   New Yorkers invade the town in the fall; Lois hones her martial-arts skills.

8. 

   8. The Kiss Seen Around the World

   2001-08-29 · 23m

   Meg lands an internship working with the school nerd at a television station.

9. 

   9. Mr. Saturday Knight

   2001-09-05 · 23m

   Peter decides to pursue his dream career as a knight.

10. 

    10. Fish Out of Water

    2001-09-19 · 23m

    When Peter decides to become a fisherman, he takes out a large loan to buy a fishing boat and unwittingly gives up everything he owns as collateral.

11. 

    11. Emission Impossible

    2001-10-08 · 23m

    Lois' pregnant sister inspires her and Peter to have another baby.

12. 

    12. To Love and Die in Dixie

    2001-11-15 · 23m

    The Griffins are put into the witness protection program.

13. 

    13. Screwed the Pooch

    2001-11-29 · 23m

    Peter and Lois go to the Pewterschmidts for the weekend, bringing Brian along. Brian, meanwhile, has some "issues" of his own to work out. Find out if Brian's future is to make puppies or become "less" than he is.

14. 

    14. Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?

    2001-12-06 · 23m

    While trying to teach Chris about his Irish roots, Peter stumbles upon Nate Griffin, a black man in his family tree. Peter tries to embrace his new-found heritage, but can’t quite get the hang of it. When Lois’ father, Carter Pewtershmidt, sits the Griffin kids down for a look at his family genealogy, a dark secret is uncovered.

15. 

    15. Ready, Willing, and Disabled

    2001-12-20 · 23m

    Joe gets discouraged, losing his self-confidence, after he loses a thief in a chase. Peter wants to help Joe get back to his old self so he volunteers to help train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter puts steroids into Joe's drink, pushing Joe on to victory. Meanwhile, Stewie, Meg, and Brian fight over $26.

16. 

    16. A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas

    2001-12-21 · 23m

    Christmas comes to Quahog! While Lois attempt to make the holidays perfect for the Griffin family, Peter messes it up. Meanwhile, Stewie learns of Santa Claus’ ability to keep 24-hour surveillance on all the world’s children.

17. 

    17. Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows

    2002-01-17 · 23m

    Brian is sentenced to care for a crabby old woman; Peter's beard becomes a home for birds.

18. 

    18. From Method to Madness

    2002-01-24 · 23m

    Stewie attempts a career in show business; Meg dates a nudist.

19. 

    19. Stuck Together, Torn Apart

    2002-01-31 · 23m

    Peter's jealously forces a trial separation; Stewie and Brian get glued together.

20. 

    20. Road to Europe

    2002-02-07 · 23m

    Stewie goes to England to take refuge in his favorite television show, while Lois embarrasses Peter at a KISS concert.

21. 

    21. Family Guy Viewer Mail #1

    2002-02-14 · 23m

    Viewer mail inspires three stories in which Peter loses his bones, the Griffins gain superpowers, and Peter and his friends appear as eight-year-old "Little Rascals."

22. 

    22. When You Wish Upon a Weinstein

    2004-12-10 · 23m

    The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems.